Inviting Stories

Exercise 2 · The cornerstone exercise

At a glance

Time	50 minutes (40 min practice + 10 min debrief)
Group size	Any. Works in a seminar of 12 or a lecture of 125.
Format	Pairs, rotating (“speed-dating” carousel)
Materials	Chairs that can be moved; a timer; the prompt menu below
You will need to	Call the time and the switches yourself — out loud

Why this exercise

If you run only one exercise from this toolkit, run this one, as it provides a listening experience with minimal instructions and training.

The heart of the exercise is the invitation to a story: instead of the usual getting-to-know-you questions, students ask —

“Could you please tell me an interesting story about …”

Listening to a story is easier than listening to anything else — easier than to an opinion we disagree with, easier than to a complaint — and stories invite better-than-usual listening (Itzchakov, Castro, & Kluger, 2016). That makes storytelling a comfortable doorway into listening: the listener is drawn in, sometimes moved; and the speaker — sharing a story tied to their identity in front of a good listener — feels validated and may even gain clarity about who they are. Moreover, it seems that inviting stories makes the speaker more charismatic, since charisma is characterized by sharing metaphors and stories — behaviors that are trainable (Antonakis, Fenley, & Liechti, 2011).

How to run it

The two rules

Tell students there are only two rules.

Equal stage time. Half the clock belongs to each partner. If the speaker finishes early, the listener says simply: “Tell me more.”
Practice the phrase. Open with exactly these words: “Could you please tell me an interesting story about …”

Room setup

The format is a carousel, so each round brings a new partner.

Arrange two concentric circles of chairs — the inner ring facing out, the outer ring facing in. Pairs sit knee-to-knee.
After each prompt, the outer ring shifts one chair to the right — a fresh partner each time.
Keep everyone in pairs; no triplets. If the class is odd, you join in.
In a fixed-seat lecture hall, rotate by asking each odd-numbered row to move one chair to the right; the person at the far end leaves their seat and walks around to the other end of their row.

Facilitation script

Set it up (2 min). State the two rules. Emphasize the opening phrase.
Pick 4–6 prompts from the menu below.
Run each round. Announce the prompt. You — not the speaker — call the switch at the halfway point (“switch — listeners, you’re now the speakers”), and call time at the end.
Rotate. The outer circle moves one seat. Announce the next prompt. Repeat for your 4–6 rounds.
Stop on a high note, with energy still in the room.

The menu of prompts

Pick four to six for a single session. Start gently (name stories), then move into more personal territory. Adapt freely to your local culture.

“Could you please tell me an interesting story about …”

	Prompt	Time per side
a	your name (first or last)	2 min
b	previous generations in your family	3 min
c	shoes, or clothing	3 min
d	your idol as a teenager	3 min
e	helping someone — and being helped	4 min
f	a figure (real or imaginary) who influenced your life	3 min
g	your hobby, or things you love to do	3 min
h	the first time you thought of your current job	3 min
i	what the person who appreciates you most at work would say about you	3 min
j	food	3 min
k	a tradition in your family	3 min

Two more, always available:

A photo on your phone — “Show me a picture you took on your phone that was meaningful to you. May I see it? What did you feel when you took it? What do you feel toward it now?” (This can be a good way to start if the class is distracted and on their phones. After this one, you can ask the class to put their phones away.)
Invent your own prompt — make it reflect identity, and one that can easily lead the speaker to tell a story.

Debrief

Ten to thirty minutes, in plenary. Do not skip this — the exercise without the debrief is half the value. This debrief could be done at the end of all exercises.

Ask each participant to complete these stems aloud — one answer each, with no commentary from anyone:

“The most annoying thing about these exercises was …” — this stem gives you an opportunity to model listening to complaints and diverse opinions; thank the students who dare to show the complexity to the whole class.
“Through these exercises I became aware of …”
“One new thing I am going to do based on these exercises is …”

Teaching adaptations

Large lecture (100+): Use turn-to-your-neighbor pairs instead of the carousel; project the prompt on a slide; use a microphone only for the plenary debrief. The exercise scales without losing its effect.
Online (synchronous): Use breakout rooms of two, rotate by reassigning rooms each round, and broadcast the prompt and the switch through the main-room timer.
By course type: In negotiation, pair this with prompt (d) on helping and being helped; in leadership, use (i), what your greatest admirer would say; in teams, use (b) and (k) on family and tradition to surface difference; in coaching, slow down and run fewer, longer rounds.
As homework: Ask students to invite three different stories from three different people during the week — “Could you please tell me an interesting story about …” — keeping the two rules, then write a short reflection on how those conversations differed from their usual ones.

What the research says

Sharing stories — as opposed to opinions or descriptions — invites better-than-usual listening (Itzchakov, Castro, & Kluger, 2016) and generates interpersonal closeness (Aron, Melinat, Aron, Vallone, & Bator, 1997). Speakers who share an identity-relevant story with a good listener feel validated (Nemec, Spagnolo, & Soydan, 2017) and may gain clarity about their own identity (Pasupathi, 2001; Pasupathi & Rich, 2005). The exercise is Exercise #1 in Kluger’s teaching repertoire (Lehmann, Kluger, Cojuharenco, & Itzchakov, 2025, Appendix A).

References

Antonakis, J., Fenley, M., & Liechti, S. (2011). Can charisma be taught? Tests of two interventions. Academy of Management Learning & Education, 10(3), 374–396. https://doi.org/10.5465/amle.2010.0012
Aron, A., Melinat, E., Aron, E. N., Vallone, R. D., & Bator, R. J. (1997). The experimental generation of interpersonal closeness: A procedure and some preliminary findings. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23(4), 363–377. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167297234003
Itzchakov, G., Castro, D. R., & Kluger, A. N. (2016). If you want people to listen to you, tell a story. International Journal of Listening, 30(3), 120–133. https://doi.org/10.1080/10904018.2015.1037445
Kluger, A. N., & Itzchakov, G. (2022). The power of listening at work. Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior, 9, 121–146. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-orgpsych-012420-091013
Lehmann, M., Kluger, A. N., Cojuharenco, I., & Itzchakov, G. (2025). Cultivating humility in business education: A listening-focused pedagogy for future leaders. Journal of Business Ethics. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10551-025-06099-2
Nemec, P. B., Spagnolo, A. C., & Soydan, A. S. (2017). Can you hear me now? Teaching listening skills. Psychiatric Rehabilitation Journal, 40(4), 415–417. https://doi.org/10.1037/prj0000287
Pasupathi, M. (2001). The social construction of the personal past and its implications for adult development. Psychological Bulletin, 127(5), 651–672. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.127.5.651
Pasupathi, M., & Rich, B. (2005). Inattentive listening undermines self-verification in personal storytelling. Journal of Personality, 73(4), 1051–1085. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2005.00338.x